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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25155250">A Ticklish Maria Hill</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fire_monkey/pseuds/fire_monkey'>fire_monkey</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff, basically just a bunch of times Maria gets tickled, ticklish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:00:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25155250</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fire_monkey/pseuds/fire_monkey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Maria Hill &amp; Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Knives and... peace?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The door to her apartment slams, the noise ricocheting around Maria’s empty apartment. The dead of night silence doesn’t do much to help much either. Soft footsteps pad towards the kitchen and stop. Probably taking in the failure, Maria thinks darkly.</p><p>“Maria?” Natasha calls out, sounding confused. “Are you home?”</p><p>Maria doesn’t answer. Natasha’s not stupid – she saw the mess. She knows Maria wouldn’t leave without cleaning up. She just mutters under her breath about stupid sharp knives and stupid thin human skin. She rolls onto her stomach and buries her head under her pillow, which doesn’t help her feel much better.</p><p>Her bedroom door creaks open slowly and the light flickers on. She hears a snort and then the bed dips under Natasha’s weight as she crawls over and lies beside Maria.</p><p>“So that didn’t go particularly well,” Natasha says quietly, rubbing soft circles into Maria’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Of course I’m okay,” Maria scowls into the mattress and shrugs Natasha’s hand off.</p><p>“I can’t understand you, Masha,” Natasha says.</p><p>Maria swears she can hear a smile in her voice. It makes her insides clench and she wants to hit someone. Maybe Natasha. “Go away.”</p><p>Natasha takes the pillow off Maria’s head slowly, like she thinks she might bite. Maria just lies there, unmoving, thoroughly depressed.</p><p>“You want some cheering up?” Natasha asks as she gets up onto her knees. She rolls Maria over and sits her up so she can pull her into her lap.</p><p>Maria doesn’t protest, going pliant. She makes a quiet noise of contentment as Natasha starts rubbing away the knots in her shoulders, wincing when she presses gently on the bandage on her forearm, testing the severity of the wound.</p><p>“How’d you do this?” she asks, lifting Maria’s arms up so she can pull her blood-stained t-shirt off.</p><p>Maria grunts, less angry than before. “Slipped and knocked the knife block over,” she grumbles, flopping back on the bed and flinging her uninjured arm over her eyes. She feels Natasha getting up and assumes she’s putting her t-shirt in the washing machine. “Most of them got me somewhere.”</p><p>“That’s unfortunate,” Natasha says sympathetically. “Did you manage to stitch them all up?”</p><p>Maria thinks of the scabbed over scratch on the side of her back, annoyingly just out of reach so she can’t reach it unless she twists and stretches the gash on her stomach she’d taken away from the mission she’s just gotten home from. “Yeah,” she says anyway.</p><p>“Really,” Natasha says, amusement coating her voice.</p><p>Maria lifts her arm off her eyes and sends her a bleary glare. Belatedly, she sees her t-shirt in Natasha’s hands and realises she’s half-naked, and Natasha can see all the marks left on her. “I mean, uh… no?”</p><p>“Good answer, Masha,” Natasha smirks, disappearing into the bathroom and reappearing with their first-aid kit. “Sit up.”</p><p>Maria huffs out a sigh but she does as she’s asked, slouching her shoulders as her body protests the notion of moving. Natasha’s hands are cold when she touches her, as usual, and despite her training, Maria shivers. She’s gentle though, fingers ghosting over her skin. Maria can’t help but twitch, cursing herself internally.</p><p>“Sorry,” Natasha says, mouth curved into a half-smile as she watches the goose bumps break out. She makes fast work, cleaning away the blood and sticking an Avengers sticker over the scratch. “Bled a lot.”</p><p>Maria grunts non-committedly, moving to stand up as Natasha trails her fingers down Maria’s side, tracing over other battle wounds. She jerks before stopping herself quickly, knowing Natasha’s already filed away the movement for researching. She continues on like nothing’s happened anyway, all too aware of Natasha’s knowing eyes watching her as she walks away, bending down to pick up a new t-shirt from the floor. Better protection. From what? she thinks hopefully, like Natasha’s not like a dog with a bone. Like she won’t let go of something until she’s got what she wants.</p><p>She picks up the knives, five of them in total and puts them in the sink, filling it with hot water and soap. Natasha comes out to watch as she scrubs them clean of blood and dries them silently, placing them back in the block. She pointedly doesn’t make eye contact, knows that Natasha will have that smug look in her eyes that she gets when she knows she’s got the advantage.</p><p>“You know I know you’re ticklish,” Natasha says.</p><p>Maria’s head shoots up. Her eyes wide, she stares at Natasha in shock and suspicion.</p><p>Natasha snickers. “Remember when you got injured in Trencin?”</p><p>She frowns, brain working overtime. The city rings a bell but she can’t remember where in the world it is.</p><p>“Slovakia?” Natasha offers helpfully.</p><p>“Oh,” Maria says in a small voice, memories of teasing pokes and stiff jerking coming back. “I thought… You were drunk.”</p><p>Natasha’s grin spreads slowly over her face. “How else was I going to get you to trust me if you knew I knew you were ticklish.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Maria denies immediately before she scowls at the look on Natasha’s face.</p><p>“Oh darling,” Natasha smiles charmingly, “But you’re so precious when you laugh.”</p><p>Her face darkens. “Go away,” she says lamely.</p><p>Natasha sighs but she makes a show of turning around and walking into the bedroom in a way only she can.</p><p> </p><p>“Wanna come cuddle?” Natasha calls out after Maria’s been standing in the kitchen silently for too long. The sink’s nearly dry, the last of the soapy bubbles popping.</p><p>Maria walks into the doorway and narrows her eyes. Natasha plans everything she does. All of it is carefully calculated, each step well-evaluated, well-measured, well in advance. But all she can see in Natasha’s eyes is comfort.</p><p>“It might make you feel better,” Natasha adds.</p><p>She’s not pushing it, which is what really sells Maria. Maria knows Natasha has the upper hand in any physical fight they have – years of training and torture will do that for you – but this is her apartment. Natasha has to leave when she tells her to. Right? She’s sure Natasha will respect her boundaries, but probably not when she knows they’re only being enforced to protect Maria’s walls.</p><p>Natasha’s already raided Maria’s closet for comfier clothes than her SHIELD uniform so all Maria has to do is crawl into bed and snuggle up beside her.</p><p>She floats peacefully in Natasha’s arms, not quite awake and not quite asleep, so when Natasha slides her arm further around her waist until her hand is in the perfect position she doesn’t protest. She even goes so far as to shift helpfully.</p><p>Natasha digs her fingers into Maria’s hips sharply, tightening her hold on Maria with her other arm at the same time. Maria yelps, twisting as she’s violently awoken. She blinks up at Natasha, whose grin is feral, teeth glinting in the dim light. She turns her head awkwardly to look at her alarm, the numbers burning the time into her eye sockets.</p><p>“It’s… <em>four </em>in the <em>morning</em>,” Maria groans, voice chocked with sleep. She swallows and coughs, attempting to push Natasha away as she sits up. “What is <em>wrong</em> with you?”</p><p>Natasha pulls her back down, smothering her laughter when Maria glowers at her. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again tonight.”</p><p>Maria stares Natasha down but Natasha just rolls over and shuts her eyes, pretending to be asleep.</p><p>“It better not,” she grumbles as she lies down and pulls the duvet up to her chin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Trencin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They’re stranded in some stupid draughty old cabin in some forest outside some city in Slovakia, freezing their asses off, and all Natasha can do it hum off-key in her ear. Maria tries not to glare at her from her hunched over position beside the fire, but they’re curled into the same sleeping bag so it’s kind of obvious. The curl of Natasha’s lips tell Maria she’s noticed and is now doing it on purpose.</p>
<p>“Would you stop if I asked?” Maria says fifteen minutes later, when she’s decided she must be a saint for not ripping Natasha’s vocal cords out and beating her with them. “I know you can sing nicely.” What makes humming so different, she’d love to know.</p>
<p>Natasha pauses and Maria takes what she can get to rest her poor ears. “What can you offer me instead?”</p>
<p>Maria glares at the newly defected SHIELD agent. “There’s a game we can play.”</p>
<p>“I’m listening.”</p>
<p>“It’s called, ‘I’m the superior officer and I’m telling you to shut up,’” Maria says and feels a grim satisfaction when Natasha deflates.</p>
<p>“I’m going to look around again. See if there’s anything to eat,” Natasha says, giving Maria a dirty look as she wriggles out of the sleeping bag. Goosebumps pop up on her skin almost instantly and she shivers, poking under the cabinets on the walls and shifting the dresser they’d shoved up against the hole in one wall. “Hey, look!” she calls out, turning around with a bottle of something that might be alcohol in her hand. “Let’s get drunk and numb.”</p>
<p>Maria shivers when Natasha pokes her cold feet into her stomach as she gets back into the sleeping bag. “God, you’re freezing already.”</p>
<p>“Can’t feel it,” Natasha shrugs, opening the bottle and sniffing it. “Smells fine to me.” She takes a swig and coughs. “Ugh. That’s awful.” She swallows some more anyway and then passes the bottle to Maria who sips cautiously.</p>
<p>“This is probably poisoned,” Maria says sensibly before she takes a gulp.</p>
<p>Natasha takes the bottle off her with a grin. “Probably.”</p>
<p>Maria probably shouldn’t feel as comfortable as she is, sharing questionable alcohol in a sleeping bag with an ex-assassin who could kill her effortlessly. She likes to think she’d put up a bit of a fight. Natasha sets the bottle down on the floor beside them and brings her arms into the sleeping bag. Maria squeaks and then blushes fiercely, looking at the fire intently instead of Natasha.</p>
<p>Natasha blinks. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Maria says shortly, moving Natasha’s hands away from her exposed stomach. In hindsight, it was an exceptionally bad idea but currently, it had seemed like the only option barring getting out of the sleeping bag and actually dying.</p>
<p>Understanding dawns on Natasha’s face and she suddenly seems a lot drunker. Her voice is more slurred when she says, “You’re ticklish? You don’t seem like the ticklish type.”</p>
<p>“No, I’m not,” Maria starts to say but then Natasha rolls them so that she’s lying on top of her, hands poking into Maria’s ribs. She jerks, tries to stop herself, stiffens, and then jerks again as Natasha pokes her teasingly, a light smile on her face. “Stop it, you idiot,” Maria growls, her annoyed look interrupted by a smile and a particularly violent twist as Natasha digs her fingers into her sides. “<em>Natasha</em>!”</p>
<p>“Jeez, Hill, uptight much?” Natasha snickers, saving the memories of Maria’s laugh. “It’s just tickling. Never hurt anyone.”</p>
<p>“You’ll end up hurt if you don’t stop <em>right now</em>,” Maria snaps and it’s the closest Natasha’s seen her show an emotion since she arrived, admittedly not that long ago, but she listens, removing her hands. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Natasha stares at Maria curiously as she watches the fire stiffly. She wants to ask about being ticklish, what it feels like, but she’s keen enough to know she’d be kicked out of the sleeping bag, and probably out of the cabin. She keeps her mouth shut and looks away, with just enough bravery to say, “You look cute, you know. When you laugh.”</p>
<p>The glare Maria gives her is cold enough to freeze hell over and Natasha immediately backtracks.</p>
<p>“Not that that’s a, um, a good thing though… You don’t… I– uh, you… Sorry,” she finishes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. All this for cookie batter?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Come and get me, asshole,” Maria taunts, standing on the table in her apartment holding the bowl of cookie batter. “You don’t deserve this anyway.”</p><p>Bobbi’s jaw drops. There’s complete silence in the room as the words sink in.</p><p>“You might want to run now,” Melinda suggests, hooking a foot around a chair and pulling it towards her for Maria to step down on.</p><p>“She’ll never catch me,” Maria says cockily. “Considering she ate the last batch without sharing.”</p><p>“Take that back!” Bobbi exclaims, attempting to hold back her smile unsuccessfully.</p><p>She dives at Maria who yelps and stumbles back, not expecting Bobbi to be quite so reckless. Maria trips on the back of a chair and throws the bowl at Melinda before she crashes to the ground. Her elbow bangs against the wooden floor loudly and she curses.</p><p>Bobbi’s half off the table and not in the best position for launching herself again but she manages it somehow, using her arms to push herself away from the table, knocking over more chairs and landing far enough away from Maria that can scramble to her feet and run. She grabs the bowl back from Melinda and sticks her middle finger up at Bobbi, scooping cookie dough batter out of the bowl and chewing it triumphantly.</p><p>“It’s my bowl, shit head. Give it back,” Bobbi growls, stalking towards Maria who backs away quickly, hiding behind the kitchen counter.</p><p>“Oh yeah? Make me,” Maria heckles, leaning over the counter until they’re nose to nose. She holds the bowl behind her with one arm just in case and smirks.</p><p>“You’ve got it coming now, Hill. I’m gonna beat your ass until you cry,” Bobbi threatens with a wicked grin, not backing away from Maria.</p><p>“I’d like to see you try,” Maria scoffs and darts back as Bobbi’s hand shoots up to grab her shirt collar.</p><p>“No inappropriate touching while I’m here,” Melinda butts in, reclining on the couch and watching them chase each other around like children.</p><p>“Don’t you rip it, moron,” Maria warns and Bobbi’s grip relaxes ever so slightly so she takes the opportunity to jerk it out of her hands.</p><p>Bobbi looks pissed for falling for that, and she shows it by leaping over the counter. Maria bolts. She goes left, grabbing hold of the edge of the bench to stop herself from slipping over in her socks. Bobbi grabs Maria’s wrist and wrenches her arm towards her. Maria curls her body around her precious bowl of cookie batter as Bobbi wraps her in her arms tightly. She tries to go limp, bring her knees up around the bowl but Bobbi’s got strong arms and just carries her over to the couch and dumps her on it beside Melinda with a knee to the stomach. Maria grunts and brings her foot up around Bobbi’s body, kicking out, her foot connecting with Bobbi’s jaw. Bobbi presses Maria’s leg back until her knee is touching her chin. She kicks again but Bobbi’s got too strong of a hold on her leg. Maria swallows and attempts to smile nicely, sensing Bobbi’s desire to smack the shit out of her.</p><p>“You have your bowl now?” she tries, knowing that Bobbi very rarely shows mercy.</p><p>“I’ve also got you,” Bobbi grins, utterly wicked. “And you’re going to pay.”</p><p>Maria, deciding that being soft isn’t going to work, goes for a more troublesome act. She rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to retort.</p><p>“Don’t say it, Maria, close your mouth or apologise,” Melinda interjects, leaning away from them. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.”</p><p>Maria narrows her eyes, considering. It’s not like Bobbi’s going to kill her, so whatever she’s planning can’t be that bad. “What’re you even going to do? Pin me here until you’re bored?”</p><p>“Shut your stupid mouth,” Melinda mumbles, burying her head in her hands like she’s praying.</p><p>Bobbi’s grin turns evil and Maria gets that sinking feeling in the bottom of her stomach. She tries to push her away but she pushes herself away, ending up sprawled over Melinda’s crossed legs. Bobbi follows, hands resting on Maria’s sides. Maria’s eyes widen, finally getting Bobbi’s threats but it’s too late now as Bobbi’s fingers dig into her sides. She twists violently, mouth clamped shut as she tries to escape.</p><p>“Told you so,” Melinda says smugly.</p><p>Melinda smirks as Maria’s back arches and she rolls as much as she can with Bobbi keeping her in place. Finally, a giggle slips past her lips and the rest follow when Bobbi scrabbles her fingers under Maria’s shirt and run wild over her ribs.</p><p>“<em>Stop</em>!” Maria yelps, digging her foot into Bobbi’s thigh in an attempt to make her misbalance. Bobbi brings one hand away from Maria’s stomach and wiggles her fingers in the back of Maria’s knees. “Hey!”</p><p>“Oh, come on,” Bobbi teases, “I’ve barely touched you.”</p><p>She glares, very much aware of her skin tingling with aftershocks of Bobbi’s touch. “You li<em>ar Bobbi</em>!” She squirms, body jerking away from Bobbi’s fingers so that she ends up pressed into Melinda. “Stohohop ihit!”</p><p>Melinda unbuttons Maria’s shirt while Bobbi stops Maria from attacking by getting in first, poking in between each rib. Maria’s laughter fills the room, quickly replaced by cursing when Melinda sets her arm across Maria’s shoulders, pinning her to the couch.</p><p>“Trai-<em>hey</em>-tor!” Maria protests, struggling futilely as she brings her hands up to grip Melinda’s arm, trying to pull it off. “Thihihis inapprop-propriate tah-ouching!”</p><p>“You brought this on yourself. I tried to warn you,” Melinda says with a shrug.</p><p>“Yeheheah but thihis– Bobbi!” She jumps as Bobbi distracts her from her conversation, fingers wiggling all over Maria’s exposed stomach. She shrieks when Melinda joins in too, three hands covering all her ticklish spots. “<em>Unfair</em>!”</p><p>They’re both laughing, making Maria want to kill them all the more as she squirms uselessly, barely able to do that as she’s held down and tickled. One of them, she’s not sure who, pinches her hip and she jumps automatically, right into the other’s jabbing hands, setting off another round of laughter. She hates that she’s being tickled and being forced to giggle, but more than that, she hates that she doesn’t hate this as much as she should.</p><p>Melinda pokes her fingers in Maria’s armpits and while it’s not as bad as her ribs, Maria snarls at her anyway through a smile. Melinda just laughs and coos, “You’re just too cute,” at her.</p><p>“Screhehew you!” Maria squeaks, scrunching up her shoulders as Bobbi goes for her neck.</p><p>“Isn’t she cute?” Melinda teases, taking her arm off Maria’s throat to attack another part of her body.</p><p>“So cute,” Bobbi grins, making Maria twist violently as her hands go back to her ribs. “I think her ribs are the most ticklish,” she tells Melinda.</p><p>Maria eyes them suspiciously, red-faced and breathing heavily. She’s pretty sure she can feel tears at the corner of her eyes. “Don’t you dare. Get– Get away from mehe<em>hee</em>!” She ends her threat on a shriek as they both go for her ribs.</p><p>They make her thrash, nearly uncontrollably until she can’t even move. Her whole body trembles and her screams – which have fallen on deaf ears – turn into silent laughter. She tries to wipe away the tears which have started falling, streaming down the sides of her face, but she can’t pick up her arms, body too weak too tense too loose too much. Her stomach goes taut as Melinda jabs and pokes, wriggles her fingers, scribbling patterns then changing without warning. Bobbi counts her ribs, messes up, starts again. Starts again and again and again until she’s nearly used to it, then goes for her sides and makes her <em>shriek</em> like she’s not been able to make any sound before and she finally can. She manages to worry about the neighbours for a second before her brain goes blank as they draw out laughter.</p><p>She hates them she hates them she hates them, she thinks. She swears at them, tells them where they can shove their shocked faces. It fuels them on. Maria breathes in, tries to tug her stomach down away from their hands. She twitches, hips bucking instinctively when Bobbi gets her. She tries to sit up, to pull her shirt around her for a little bit of protection but they push her down.</p><p>They don’t seem to be getting tired and Maria’s not getting any less sensitive, so she decides to take the easy way out.</p><p>“Plehehease!” she begs breathlessly. “Stop! Stohohop.”</p><p>Bobbi and Melinda lock eyes before glancing down at Maria, who’s taken the opportunity to wipe her eyes and get her breath back. Her face is flushed, spreading down her neck, and her hair is mussed up from rubbing against the couch cushions.</p><p>“What do you reckon?” Bobbi asks.</p><p>Maria feels a glimmer of hope.</p><p>Melinda hums and Maria knows she’s screwed.</p><p>“I think she looks entirely unrepentant,” Melinda states decidedly.</p><p>“No no no no,” Maria says quickly, shaking her head, “That’s not true.”</p><p>Bobbi raises an eyebrow. “So what are you sorry for, then?”</p><p>Maria opens her mouth but finds nothing to say. “Uh…” Bobbi’s hands make their way back to Maria’s torso, resting delicately on her ribs. Maria swallows. “Everything?”</p><p>“Be more specific,” Melinda suggest as Bobbi laughs sharply.</p><p>Maria thinks and comes up with three things she’s sorry for. One, that she’d allowed herself to get caught. Two, for not stopping them, and three, for not coming up with this genius plan earlier. She throws her elbow up and catches Melinda in the chin, knocking her head back. Bobbi’s hands are tightening around her sides, slipping down to her waist as she digs her foot into the cushions and launches herself away.</p><p>She gets about half a metre off the couch and then Melinda’s recovered and Bobbi’s grip stops her in her tracks. They look down at her in amusement and she has just enough time to think <em>oh shit</em> before they make her cry again. She laughs. More than she should, she scowls. They make her scowl disappear, replacing it with a smile. Their hands are everywhere, all over her and it’s all she can do not to pass out. Then one of them gets a particularly good prod in while the other is busy with her armpits, and hands are on her stomach, her knees, her neck. She can’t keep track of it all. Her eyes roll back into her head and the next thing she knows, everything is black and quiet.</p><p> </p><p>Maria wakes up to the sound of a radio playing and a jug dinging. She blinks twice to clear the sleep from her eyes and rubs her face with one hand. Taking in her surroundings, she stares blankly at Bobbi who’s sitting at the table, watching her. Her mind comes back to her and she jolts, glaring at her suspiciously.</p><p>“It’s okay, Ria, she won’t hurt you anymore,” Melinda says from behind the kitchen counter, pouring boiling water into teacups.</p><p>Maria glances at her, eyes still narrowed but she deems Melinda as less suspicious than Bobbi so she goes back to watching her. Only Bobbi’s moved. Her heartbeat picks up as she sits up and looks around, jumping when she sees Bobbi right behind her. Bobbi’s hands move faster than she can, taking up a familiar position on her ribs. She draws in a shallow breath, not daring to move in case it provokes her.</p><p>“Bobbi,” Melinda chides, “Don’t scare her.”</p><p>Bobbi laughs and removes her hands, leaving Maria to exhale slowly and try to calm her heart down.</p><p>“You suck, <em>so much</em>,” she says eventually when she’s buttoned up her shirt and ran her hands through her hair a couple times.</p><p>“Wanna repeat that?” Bobbi asks, looking up from her drink with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“…No,” Maria says quietly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Phil's back... but at what cost?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Now that you’ve all been brought up to speed, I want civility and self-control until you’re alone…”</p><p>The sound of Fury’s voice washes over Maria’s head as she tunes the meeting out. There’s the Avengers and Pepper, plus Coulson’s team, all crammed into Fury’s office. She can smell the tension in the air and she knows it’s mean of her, but she kind of wants to see Clint confront Phil. Or Stark. He looks distraught, clearly still not over the shock of finding out his beloved Agent isn’t really dead, and hasn’t been for quite a while. She looks over to Clint and Natasha, who both look ready to attack. She thinks they’ve got the most reason to be pissed, but knowing Stark, he’ll likely–</p><p>Or maybe not.</p><p>A faint smile crosses her lips as she replays the scene that’s just occurred in her head. Clint, clenching and unclenching his fists on top of the table, stopping abruptly when Natasha nudges him. Clint, standing up tensely, interrupting Fury. Clint, pulling his fist back and slinging it at Phil. And Phil, who’d just stood there and taken it, probably known it was coming before he entered the room.</p><p>The room is silent for all of two seconds before everyone burst into an uproar, shouting over everyone else, trying to get to Phil. Rogers goes for Fury, talking with him quietly. She can see the tense set of his shoulders, the barely controlled anger in his eyes. To his credit, he seems like he’s trying to understand Fury’s action, but he’s a man of the past, and in the past, they didn’t have alien technology to bring dead humans back to life. She touches his shoulder gently just as he looks like the anger’s about to escape and he takes a deep breath, bringing himself back under control.</p><p>She’s so focused on watching everyone but Natasha, that she doesn’t notice her walking over to her until it’s too late to pretend she has another very important meeting to go too. She swallows and raises her chin in faux confidence with the hope Natasha doesn’t see through it. Natasha’s too smart not to see through her. Probably why she’s standing a metre away. It hurts, knowing Natasha’s purposefully keeping her distance, especially an already small room. Then again, it also hurts being lied to, and that’s what Maria’s done for several months. So she’ll probably deserve everything Natasha throws at her.</p><p>“You lied to me,” Natasha says simply.</p><p>Maria tries not to cringe and thinks this might be worse than getting hit. “I lied to everyone,” she says.</p><p>Natasha’s eyes harden.</p><p>“Okay, that was a stupid thing to say, but there was a good reason,” she says quickly before Natasha can kill her.</p><p>Natasha raises her eyebrows. “Like what?” she challenges.</p><p>Maria pauses. She hadn’t though out her argument on the assumption that Natasha would stop her before she could get very far. Turns out Natasha’s more than willing to hear her out, and she’s got nothing to say.</p><p>“Right,” Natasha says sarcastically when Maria stays silent. “Very convincing.”</p><p>Maria sighs and drops her head. “Nat…”</p><p>Natasha fixes her with an icy glare. “Were you even planning on telling me? Because it seems like he’s been fine for some time now!”</p><p>Maria winces. Natasha’s not exactly being quiet, and she doesn’t really need the Avengers and Phil’s group looking on. She makes eye contact with Phil who grimaces visibly. Natasha shakes her roughly, snapping her focus back. She’s barely aware of Natasha stalking towards her until she no longer has room to breathe, the assassin barely half a foot away. Maria inhales sharply when Natasha leans in close, nose to nose.</p><p>“Nat…” she breathes out, unable to meet the green eyes she knows will be emotionless.</p><p>Natasha raises her hand and Maria holds her breath. Natasha’s hand trembles and she slams it, open-palmed, into the wall. Maria flinches, curling her shoulders up. Natasha looks vaguely remorseful for barely a second before an expressionless mask slides over her face.</p><p>“Not here,” Maria says, sensing Natasha’s growing anger. She looks over Natasha’s shoulder and sees everyone watching them. She glares at them but Natasha slamming her against the wall gets her attention. “Natasha. Not here.”</p><p>Natasha’s eyes burn with fire. “Where else then? All you do is avoid me. Every time I try to talk to you, you’ve got <em>something on</em>.”</p><p>Maria opens her mouth to protest that but there are no words. She clenches her jaw. “Fine. Here.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?” Natasha starts. Obvious first question.</p><p>“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Maria says lamely.</p><p>Natasha rolls her eyes. “I can understand that while he was recovering, it was need-to-know, and during the early stages of recovery, it probably would have been worse if we knew, but when he was better?” She jabs Maria in the chest with her finger sharply. “You know I can keep a secret,” she says harshly.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Maria says. She shakes her head slightly at Clint, who looks close to stepping in. She and Natasha need this. Of course, she’d prefer if it weren’t public, but who is she to complain.</p><p>She’s grateful when Clint nudges Pepper who immediately jumps into action, silently herding everyone out, even Fury, until they are the only ones left. Pepper nods at her supportively before shutting the door.</p><p>Natasha’s waiting expectantly when she finds the courage to look her in the eyes. Her cheeks flush and she looks away again almost as quickly.</p><p>“Maria,” Natasha snaps. She waits until Maria looks at her before saying anything else. “Why didn’t you tell me.” It’s not phrased like a question but Maria knows she’s expected to answer it anyway.</p><p>“I was under Fury’s orders first,” she says.</p><p>Natasha snorts, knowing how much Maria loves orders. “And after that.”</p><p>She’s silent for a bit, contemplating. Why hadn’t she? She had wanted to protect Natasha, of course, but Natasha didn’t need protecting, still doesn’t. Telling her halfway through the lie would have been worse, already into it and too late to back out. So maybe she’s just a coward. Maybe she just hadn’t wanted to stop once she’d started, hadn’t known how to get herself out of her own mess.</p><p>“I didn’t want to hurt you,” she says eventually.</p><p>“So you lied to me instead.”</p><p>Maria sags against the wall. “It was a dick move. I’m sorry. I should have told you. I just didn’t want to get your hopes up for nothing.”</p><p>“I know how to handle myself,” Natasha says coldly, turning away.</p><p>“I know.” Maria reaches out a hand to grasp Natasha’s shoulder but she shrugs it off and moves away.</p><p>“I need some space,” Natasha says quietly.</p><p>“Nat… please,” Maria says softly. “Just tell me what I can do.”</p><p>Natasha huffs in annoyance. “There’s nothing you can do right now!”</p><p>“I’ll do anything,” Maria continues, just in case.</p><p>Natasha spins around and shoves her, sending her stumbling. She hits her head on the wall and ducks under Natasha’s swinging arm. Natasha’s knee comes up into her face and she jerks backwards and up, right into Natasha’s waiting arms. She’s pinned against the wall and it feels all to familiar, only this time, Natasha isn’t in the mood to play. She sticks her fingers into Maria’s stomach and sides callously, taking pleasure in the way Maria bites her bottom lip and jerks.</p><p>“Nat,” Maria squeaks out, “What are you <em>doing</em>?”</p><p>Natasha watches her with a calculating look in her eyes. “I’m going to tickle you until you beg for mercy, and then you’re going to apologise.”</p><p>Maria raises her eyebrow. “You think I’m going to agree to that?”</p><p>Natasha lifts her chin. “I think you don’t have a choice.”</p><p>Maria opens and closes her mouth wordlessly. “Do your worst, then.”</p><p>Natasha does, scrabbling both hands over Maria’s ribs. Maria falls forward, head resting on Natasha’s shoulder and shakes uncontrollably as her arms curl around her stomach weakly. She tries not to laugh, just to prove that Natasha’s not going to get anything out of her but she’s annoyingly ticklish, and Natasha’s annoyingly good at tickling, especially for someone who never touched people softly for several decades.</p><p>“Nahahat,” she whines, almost breathlessly.</p><p>“Begging already?” Natasha says with a smirk.</p><p>Maria snaps her mouth shut and scowls. She’s in the wrong, and Natasha’s baiting her, and she can’t even be mad at her for it.</p><p>Natasha wriggles her fingers into Maria’s sides and stifles a snicker when Maria yelps and clutches Natasha’s hands. Natasha brings her knee up and rests it against Maria’s stomach, leaning in to stop both of them from falling over. Maria swallows. Her tongue darts out and she licks her lips nervously. Then she’s cackling uncontrollably, pushing at Natasha in a failing attempt to escape. Natasha’s hands somehow manage to be everywhere at once.</p><p>She gasps out a plea, surprising both herself and Natasha, who pauses nicely.</p><p>“That was quick,” Natasha comments.</p><p>“Oh, shut up. You try being ticklish,” Maria grumbles, feeling far too sensitive.</p><p>“It’s barely been five minutes,” Natasha says drily.</p><p>“Fine,” Maria says, fully aware of the trap she’s falling into. “You can try again then.”</p><p>“<em>I</em> can try again?” Natasha asks in disbelief. “You’re the one who failed, dumbass.”</p><p>Maria sticks her tongue out. Natasha pinches her hips and Maria nearly falls to her knees as her legs buckle. She juts her chin out and silently dares Natasha to continue.</p><p>Natasha’s fingers slide underneath Maria’s shirt, drawing messy patterns over Maria’s stomach. Maria shrieks and wriggles. Natasha uses her weight to keep Maria in place as she prods her fingers into every bump and dip she can find. The hollow between each rib gets its own special attention. Maria jumps each time, giggling, her hands knocking against Natasha’s in protest. Natasha grabs Maria’s hands and holds them above her head with one hand, the other brushing over Maria’s neck.</p><p>“Ready to apologise yet?” Natasha teases, scratching Maria’s stomach with her nails.</p><p>“Okay! Stohohop!” Maria gets out between laughs. “I’m sohohorry!”</p><p>Natasha’s smiling, and she’s laughing, and she thinks if this is the only way to get Natasha to stop being mad at her, she’s willing to let herself be tickled forever. Just to see Natasha’s smile.</p><p>Natasha’s smile turns feral. Maria’s insides turn to ice as she realises she’s said that out loud.</p><p>“I didn’t mean that,” she says quickly.</p><p>“Oh, but I think you did,” Natasha smirks. “Don’t you want to see me smile, darling?”</p><p>Maria tries to glare at her, tries to tug her mouth back down into a straight line, tries to silence her laughter.</p><p>“Don’t you dare, Natasha, stop it,” she rushes out, words jumbling together. “Natasha, <em>don’t pleahehease Nat dohon’t! </em>Nat<em>aSHA!</em>”</p><p>She ends up snorting and squeaking, much to her dismay. Natasha’s fingers disappear into her armpits and she squeezes her eyes shut and tries not to yelp. She swears at Natasha, cursing her to oblivion and back between snickers.</p><p>“Ihi hate yohoo,” Maria gasps, ducking away from Natasha’s face as she dips her head, blowing raspberries on Maria’s neck.</p><p>“How rude,” Natasha murmurs, mouth pressed against Maria.</p><p>“Don’t, please don’t,” Maria pleads, hands gripping Natasha’s wrists.</p><p>“Don’t what?” Natasha smirks.</p><p>“Tickle me,” Maria says, and then her eyes widen. “No no Nat<em>asha NO!</em>”</p><p>Maria yelps and squeaks and drops to the floor. She rests against the wall to catch her breath. Her face is flushed and her pulse is hammering in her head. Natasha crouches down in front of her, crowding the space around her, shoving her legs apart so she can get at Maria’s stomach. Maria jack-knives at the waist when Natasha shoves her fingers between Maria’s ribs without warning. She pulls her t-shirt down, trying to cover her stomach. Natasha laughs. And then pulls it over Maria’s head and while she reaches up to untangle it, leans forward and runs her hands over Maria’s stomach.</p><p>Maria lets out a gurgled scream, arms instinctively coming down from her face to wrap around her stomach. Natasha grins, and doesn’t stop moving her hands. Maria’s half bent over, clutching Natasha’s elbows. Natasha’s between Maria’s legs, leaning over her, face pressed against her back, hands reaching for bare skin.</p><p>Natasha hears Maria's laughter, choked off snorts between heaving breaths, and finds herself laughing. She ignores Maria when she stammers out curses.</p><p>“<em>Plehehease</em>,” Maria begs, laughing too hard to much more than gasp.</p><p>Natasha retracts her hands reluctantly, but she supposes Maria might need a break. Maria shrugs her t-shirt back into place and slumps backwards, boneless. She smiles through breaths, catching Natasha’s eyes.</p><p>“You bitch,” she says.</p><p>Natasha chokes, looking at Maria with wide eyes. “Excuse me?”</p><p>Maria narrows her eyes and puts her face right in front of Natasha’s. Her lips draw back into a wicked smile and she says, “bitch,” before shoving Natasha to the ground and bolting, locking the door behind her and sauntering down the hallway, ignoring the looks her agents are giving her.</p><p>Maybe because of her mussed-up hair and red face.</p><p>Or her smile.</p><p>Probably her smile.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. firsts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>maria is five and playing with her best friend, isla. they’re wrestling in isla’s backyard in the sandpit. isla punches her in the side. she retaliates by throwing sand in isla’s eyes. isla jerks away, eyes squinted as she rubs them with clenched fists.</p><p>“maria!” isla’s mother exclaims, sitting up from her deck chair.</p><p>isla bursts into tears. maria stares in horror as isla’s mother rushes over, gathering isla in her arms and making soothing noises. isla’s father reaches out for maria and she flinches. she falls out of the sandpit and bumps her elbow on the edge of the wooden box. her chin trembles but she presses her lips together and doesn’t cry.</p><p>she watches isla’s mother and father exchange looks before isla’s father is scooping her up, wiggling his fingers into her sides. she wriggles and laughs, pain forgotten immediately. soon isla is laughing too, sand gone from her eyes.</p><p>maria wonders if her dad would be like isla’s if her mom was still alive.</p><p> </p><p>she’s ten and sitting in class learning about human feelings. the teacher is talking about how emotions can lead to physical symptoms. a student puts his hand up and asks if being ticklish is a physical symptom. the teacher smiles and says no, being ticklish is a protective reaction to something that might cause us harm.</p><p>the teacher smiles and asks who is ticklish. half the class put their hands up. maria does not. the teacher smiles and says most people are ticklish. she looks at maria as she’s saying it. maria doesn’t know if the teacher meant that directly for her, but she has no desire to find out.</p><p>she raises her hand to ask to go the bathroom. the boy sitting next to her takes the opportunity to jab her side. she hits him reflexively, straight in the noise. his hands cup his nose, blood spilling out between his fingers. his friend goes and gets him tissues, laughing, drawing the teacher’s attention. one look at the boy’s bloody face and maria’s sullen expression tells her exactly what happened.</p><p>the teacher doesn’t smile when she says, “maria, outside now. noah, take liam to the office please.”</p><p>maria goes outside with the teacher, who leads her to the principal’s office. the teacher knocks and opens the door for maria, leaving her to face the monster alone. the principal sighs when she comes in.</p><p>“what happened this time?”</p><p>“i hit liam,” maria says, raising her chin.</p><p>“why?”</p><p>“he poked me.”</p><p>“now why would he do that?”</p><p>maria thinks she can hear sarcasm in her voice. she narrows her eyes but the principal puts her hands up.</p><p>“it’s just a question, dear.”</p><p>“i put my hand up to go to the toilet.”</p><p>the principal frowns, watching maria scowl back at her. “look, i don’t think that’s the whole story, but just go sit on the step until lunch and then go back to class.”</p><p>maria turns around and leaves.</p><p> </p><p>maria is seventeen and kissing a girl for the fourth time. she’s fresh out of highschool and newly enrolled in college. she doesn’t know the girl’s name, just someone else at this frat party who’s found comfort in a stranger.</p><p>pressed against the wall with a leg between her own, maria leans up and captures the girl’s lips in a kiss. she groans as the girl bites her bottom lip. she runs her hands through the girl’s spiky hair and wonders if she should cut her own hair short. the girl slips her hands under maria’s t-shirt while she sucks a mark into maria’s neck. her own hands move from the girl’s hair to her waist, pressing her more firmly against her. the girl curls her hands around maria’s jaw, nails scratching her skin lightly. maria jerks as the girl goes to kiss her again.</p><p>“are you okay?” the girl asks, pulling away.</p><p>maria nods quickly, a faint blush rising on her cheeks. “yes. sorry.”</p><p>the girl scratches maria’s skin with her nails again. the corner of her lips curve up a little when maria jerks again. “you ticklish?”</p><p>“no,” maria says shortly. she goes to kiss the girl again but the girl pulls her face away, smiling.</p><p>“do you mind if i test that?” the girl asks.</p><p>maria scowls at her. “i’d rather kiss you.”</p><p>the girl smiles. “i’d rather tickle you. look, why don’t you come back to my place and we can finish this.”</p><p>“finish what? the kissing or the tickling?”</p><p>the girl grins wickedly. “you’ll just have to find out, won’t you.”</p><p>she takes maria the hand and leads her out of the house. they walk a couple blocks to an apartment building, taking the elevator up to the fourth floor. maria’s not sure if it’s a coincidence or not.</p><p>“what’s your name?” the girl asks when they get to her door, number twenty-nine.</p><p>“maria. what’s yours?”</p><p>“tara. make yourself at home.”</p><p>maria walks into tara’s dark apartment and waits for tara to turn on the light and shut and lock the door.</p><p>“bedroom’s this way,” tara says with a smirk.</p><p>maria’s starting to get the feeling that they’re not quite strangers anymore. she’s not sure how she feels about this, but she’s not quite ready to go home yet either. she walks into the bedroom and gets assaulted immediately by tara lifting her up and throwing her on the bed. maria flails, going still when tara climbs on top of her, sitting on her hips.</p><p>“you wanna kiss or laugh?” tara asks, leaning down to peck maria’s lips.</p><p>“don’t you dare,” maria says just before tara wriggles her fingers down maria’s sides.</p><p>maria laughs and squirms for hours of the night before tara shows mercy and stops tickling her. then she makes her scream for a different reason.</p><p> </p><p>maria’s twenty-two and stationed in afghanistan. the sky is black, the moon illuminating the desert. she goes up and down and up and down and up and down, doing push ups in the dark until her arms shake. she rests for a minute, then starts again. over and over and over. she finishes when her arms give out and she collapses onto the compacted dirt.</p><p>maria hears a group of soldiers coming up behind her. she rolls onto her back and sits up, checking to make sure she knows them. her friends surround her, teasing her for being out so late. she sticks her tongue out at them and shakes her arms out.</p><p>her friends grab her, one of them tackling her. she grunts, lashing out. they pin her limbs down and smirk at her. she stares up in confusion until they dig their fingers into her ribs and sides and armpits. she clamps her mouth shut and squirms on the ground. the dirt sticks to her sweat-soaked skin. one of her friends wrinkles her nose at her and tells her she stinks.</p><p>“so do you,” maria retorts.</p><p>her friend jabs her side as payback and maria does her best not to yell. she hits out at them with weak arms, wishing she hadn’t just finished a million push ups.</p><p>her friends shush her when she shrieks, covering her mouth with her shirt. she kicks out in response, squirming to try to get away. with her shirt pulled over her face, her stomach is bare for an attack. maria laughs, shoulders shaking, until she cries.</p><p>“you guys suck,” she huffs out when they let her go.</p><p>her friends snicker and tell her to suck it up. “you know you love us.”</p><p> </p><p>maria is twenty-nine tonight. she hasn’t told anyone; she’s got too much work to finish to go out and party. perks of being deputy director, maria thinks. she stares at the clock on her computer as she finishes another report. it can’t <em>only</em> be ten o’clock. she blinks and shakes her head. the time doesn’t change. she sits up straighter, puts on a tight smile, and files the next report with a little more enthusiasm that quickly fades as she opens the next report.</p><p>what feels like a thousand more reports takes her until one in the morning. yawning, maria logs off and shuts her computer down. she packs her bag, eats the rest of her stale muesli bar, and pulls her jacket on, heading to the exit. it’s too late to be driving now – she’ll likely fall asleep at the wheel if she tries.</p><p>the hallways are empty. there’s supposed to be agents working the night shift but she supposes they’ll probably be in their offices or in the gym. the foyer is mostly deserted too. she scans her pass, nods tiredly at the agent on night shift, and starts the walk back to her apartment.</p><p>it’s only supposed to take quarter of an hour which is part of the reason she chose the apartment, but tonight she barely makes it home in half an hour. she stumbles up the three flights of stairs and drops her keys on the ground.</p><p>“god<em>damn</em>,” she mutters.</p><p>finally entering her apartment, maria just remembers to shut and lock the front door and pull the curtains in the living room before she collapses on the couch. there’s maybe six metres to walk to her bed but right now, she can’t be bothered. it’s just too much effort. so she curls up and closes her eyes and then just as she’s drifting off, yelps when someone pokes her cruelly in the side.</p><p>her eyes fly open, taking in a face looming above her. she throws a punch, launches herself off the couch, grabs her gun from her jacket, and blinks.</p><p>“<em>what the hell, natasha</em>,” she says breathlessly, trying to calm her heartbeat.</p><p>natasha just smiles innocently. “should i say happy birthday?”</p><p>maria blinks. “i didn’t tell you it’s my birthday.”</p><p>natasha rolls her eyes takes the gun from maria. “you know i read shield’s files. what makes you think i didn’t read your one as well?”</p><p>“good point.”</p><p>natasha nods, taking the praise with a smirk.</p><p>“so what do you want, then?”</p><p>“oh, nothing really. just testing out something clint told me,” natasha says. “nothing for you to worry about.”</p><p>“cool. see you tomorrow then.” maria gets to her feet and flops back onto the couch.</p><p>natasha takes the liberty of sitting beside her, much closer than usual.</p><p>“what are you doing? why are you still here?”</p><p>natasha doesn’t answer. her hand darts out, poking maria’s sides. she smiles when maria stiffens, trying not to react.</p><p>“so clint was right then. how’d he find this out?”</p><p>“clint is a nasty traitor who will be getting no missions for the foreseeable future, as will you,” maria growls, smacking natasha’s hands away.</p><p>“it’ll be worth it,” natasha says carelessly and then she dives in, hands somehow everywhere at once.</p><p>maria jumps, trying to hit natasha while at the same time trying to get as far away as possible.</p><p>“<em>gehet ohoff me!</em>” she yelps, batting at natasha.</p><p>natasha just laughs and wiggles her fingers into maria’s stomach, making her cry out. maria digs her feet in and goes tumbling over the edge of the couch. natasha cackles and peers down at her.</p><p>“you’re so talented,” she teases.</p><p>maria just groans, eyes half-shut. “why couldn’t you just say happy birthday and give me a cake, like every other normal person?”</p><p>“you know that’s no fun, ria. how ’bout i tickle you to sleep instead?” natasha suggests.</p><p>maria’s too tired to even say no. she just rolls away, shoulder pressed uncomfortably against the wooden floor.</p><p>“i’ll take you to your bed though. ’cause i’m nice like that.”</p><p>maria doesn’t think natasha’s at all nice, even though she does as she says and carries maria to bed.</p><p>“you ready, darling?” she asks nicely while she pulls maria’s shoes and shirt off gently.</p><p>“you suck,” maria mumbles, squirming slightly as natasha rests her hands on maria’s bare sides.</p><p>“well, that’s just rude,” natasha says sulkily and pokes maria’s hip in retaliation.</p><p>maria jumps and wakes up just enough to realise how bad of a position she’s in. natasha’s leaning over her, knees either side of her waist, with her forehead resting on maria’s shoulder. she starts to sit up but natasha, who is an expert at knowing when people are about to escape, stops her easily.</p><p>then she begins her attack.</p><p>maria’s left shaking, nearly sobbing with laughter. she’s slumps into the mattress, stomach muscles trembling with the effort of staying tense. natasha gives up on her stomach and goes for her neck, blowing raspberries. maria scrunches her shoulders weakly, hiccupping with laughter.</p><p>natasha scribbles her fingers along maria’s freshly relaxed stomach, going for the killing blow as one hand leaves her stomach and reaches up into maria’s armpit. maria can do nothing but writhe helplessly, trapped beneath natasha. natasha grins and slides down maria’s body, blowing a loud raspberry against her bellybutton. maria throws her head back and natasha takes the opportunity to scratch behind her jaw. maria curls in on herself and natasha jabs her sides. maria gasps, hands wildly following natasha’s in a last attempt before she loses control. natasha stays annoyingly out of reach, fingertips dancing over maria, making maria breathless with laughter.</p><p>“<em>plehehease</em>,” maria begs, feeling strangely lightheaded. her stomach itches the way it always does when someone touches her too lightly. “<em>natasha</em>.”</p><p>“you’re not asleep yet,” natasha grins, the outline of her face glowing from the lightbulb in the ceiling. maria thinks it makes her look almost angelic, if it weren’t for the wicked expression on her face. “i don’t go back on my promises.”</p><p>and so maria resigns herself to endless torture.</p><p>light brushes over her hips make her jerk, and sharp jabs between her ribs bring choked snorts. no matter how much she tries to stay silent, natasha somehow always manages to make her giggle. her entire <em>being</em> is so sensitive, that when natasha goes for a more violent attack, digging and pinching and scribbling her fingers into maria’s sides and stomach and armpits and the backs of her knees, maria shakes so hard with laughter she nearly knocks natasha over. she jack knifes at the waist when natasha digs all ten fingers into her sides cruelly, cursing.</p><p>she grunts as she falls back against the mattress, making a tired, hiccupping laugh.</p><p>“falling asleep, i see,” natasha smirks.</p><p>maria doesn’t reply. eyes shut and breathing evening out, maria finally falls asleep at two thirty in the morning. natasha turns the light out and pulls the duvet over them.</p><p> </p><p>maria’s twenty-nine years and one day old and waking up in bed with natasha wrapped around her back. she rolls over and flicks natasha until she wakes up.</p><p>natasha blinks groggily and mumbles, “what?” with a dry mouth and a voice like sandpaper.</p><p>“you suck,” maria says with a smile. “i hate you.” she pulls natasha’s arm back over her and wriggles closer.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Too much, too weak</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maria leans against the cool wall of the gym, taking a break from her workout routine. She takes a few sips from her water bottle and watches several agents sparring together on one of the mats.</p><p>Out of the corner of her eye she sees a familiar face approaching.</p><p>"Too tired to go a few rounds?" Clint asks with a teasing grin. He bumps his shoulder against the wall and crosses his arms.</p><p>"Too scared to ask the recruits to beat you up?" she retorts.</p><p>Clint laughs. "Touche."</p><p>They wait for the agents Maria was watching to finish before taking their mat. Maria stands across from Clint with a smirk.</p><p>"Want me to go easy on you?" she asks, kicking off her shoes.</p><p>Clint makes a face at her. "Just you wait, Hill. Just you wait."</p><p>"Terrifying," Maria says flatly as she knocks him off his feet easily.</p><p>Clint groans as his back smacks against the mat.</p><p>And again.</p><p>And again.</p><p>And again.</p><p>"Okay, okay, wait!" he yelps when it looked like Maria's about to jump on him. "Gimme a break."</p><p>Maria huffs out a laugh, brushing loose strands of hair. "You can get your ass beaten, <em>or </em>we could get Nat and go to that dive bar you found and I'll beat your ass at darts."</p><p>Clint perks up. "Doc's?"</p><p>Maria shrugs. She can't remember what is was called. "Maybe."</p><p>"I'll text Tasha, get her to meet us there," Clint says, grabbing his jacket from the edge of the mat and pulling out his phone. "She's just got back from an op over in Prague."</p><p>"Give me an hour to finish up and I'll see you out the front," Maria says.</p><p>Clint's jaw drops. "What? Maria, come on, it's like midnight!"</p><p>Maria rolls her eyes. "It's barely ten, Barton. Anyway, I have some last minute paperwork that needs finishing."</p><p>Clint mutters something under his breath but waves goodbye, making his way to the showers.</p><p> </p><p>Maria meets Clint at the entrance to SHIELD HQ. She'd changed out of her workout gear and had found an old army t-shirt in the bottom of one of her desk drawers. Coupled with her black jeans and jacket, she figures she looked pretty civilian-like. Clint smirks at her as she joins him.</p><p>"Loving the shirt, Hill."</p><p>"Unless you'd like me to go naked," Maria replies dryly. </p><p>Clint pretends to think about it, leering at her. "Well..."</p><p>Maria smacks him. "You have a wife."</p><p>"Laura likes you..." He lets the suggestion hang in the air, snickering at her eye-roll. </p><p>"You're buying me a drink for that," she grumbles, shoving her hands in her pockets to protect them from the cold air.</p><p>"Need a way to warm up?" Clint asks, noticing. When she doesn't answer, he ploughs on. "Race you there. Loser buys first."</p><p>Maria takes off down the street, Clint on her heels. The bar is several kilometres away so by the time they arrive, quarter of an hour later, they're both out of breath.</p><p>"Make... that two drinks..., Barton," Maria laughs in between gasps of air.</p><p>Clint, bent over with his hands on his knees, just waves her away. "What... ever."</p><p>"Why didn't you two just drive?" a new, familiar voice asks in amusement.</p><p>Clint looks up and sighs. "Tasha, do you really trust Maria's driving?"</p><p>"Hey!" Maria protests, looking affronted.</p><p>Natasha shrugs. "No, but I've been waiting for half an hour when I could've been sleeping."</p><p>Maria eyes the scrape on Natasha's forehead and notes the bulge around her thigh, suggesting another wound bandaged up.</p><p>"Clint'll buy you a drink," Maria offers, elbowing him in the ribs when he went to protest.</p><p>He pokes her in the ribs in retaliation, eyes lighting up when her breath catches in her throat. "Ticklish, are we?"</p><p>Maria gives him such a harsh glare that he looks away immediately, dropping the subject.</p><p>Natasha is grinning widely. "Shall we go in, then?"</p><p> </p><p>Maria isn't entirely sure how, but she's ended up sandwiched between Natasha and Clint, with Melinda - who'd turned up unannounced with Bobbi and Phil - beside Clint, and Bobbi and Phil on the other side of the booth, about to drink her seventh shot of vodka. There's cheering when she downs it without a grimace, slamming the glass back onto the table. </p><p>She's feeling warm and fuzzy when the bar owner quietly comes over to their table and asks if they were able to get home safely. Being the least drunk, she apologises for causing a ruckus and calls a cab. As they stand out on the street waiting, Melinda offers her and Phil's apartment up as it has the most sound-proofing.</p><p>In the safety of Melinda and Phil's apartment, Maria allows Natasha to pour her a glass of several different alcohols. She sniffs it cautiously and then takes a large swallow, figuring life's too short to not try new things. She gags, and does her best not to spit the whole thing up as it burns the back of her throat.</p><p>"<em>Eurgh</em>," she manages eventually. "What was <em>in </em>that?"</p><p>Natasha just smiles secretively and gives her another glass. "Go have fun, Masha."</p><p>Natasha's secret drink turns out to be what she needs to get properly drunk. Melinda cranks up the stereo and some questionable rock music starts blasting.</p><p>"What about your neighbours?" Maria shouts over the music.</p><p>Phil smiles. "Sound-proof walls remember. And they're never home, anyway."</p><p>With that worry gone, Maria lets herself relax and enjoy the night. She's drunk enough to let Clint manhandle her onto his lap so he can try her fancy, once-in-a-lifetime drink. Unfortunately, he's also drunk to spill most of it all down her shirt. Maria groans, shoving Clint away and standing up.</p><p>"You suck, Barton," she grumbles, shrugging her jacket off to take her t-shirt off, wringing out the alcohol over his head.</p><p>He yelps, squirming out of the beanbag he'd been slouched in and tackles her to the floor. They both hit the deck hard, a tangle of limbs. Maria's shoulder takes most of her weight and she winces, knowing there'd be a bruise tomorrow. Clint's knee lands directly in her stomach and she folds like a collapsed deckchair. </p><p>"Jesus, Clint," she wheezes, holding her stomach protectively as he wipes his hair dejectedly, smearing his wet hand on her jeans. "Oi!"</p><p>Natasha comes back from the kitchen, balancing a tray of dangerously mixed drinks in one hand and a bottle of juice in the other. "What the hell is going on?" she asks, looking at Melinda and Phil nearly dying of laughter sprawled on the couch, Bobbi dancing sadly in the corner by herself, and Maria and Clint  laying on the floor in pain.</p><p>"He spilled my drink on me!"</p><p>"She poured it on my head!"</p><p>Both Clint and Maria are quick to point the blame at one another.</p><p>"No I didn't! <em>You</em> poured it on <em>me</em>!" Maria protests, attempting to push him over.</p><p>"Yeah, well, you dripped it on me!" Clint fires back, desperately trying to find a decent point to let him win the argument. </p><p>Bobbi interrupts them both. "Clint <em>spilt </em>- not poured - Maria's drink on Maria, and Maria wrung her t-shirt over Clint's head in revenge," she says, giving them such a dark look that they look away sullenly</p><p>Melinda opens her arms to Clint who climbs onto her and Phil and tucks his head under her chin. She strokes his hair and smirks at Maria who scowls at them sulkily. </p><p>"It's okay, Masha," Natasha says, setting the tray and juice down on the coffee table. "Clint's mean and nasty. You don't have to play with him."</p><p>Maria's sober enough to know that Natasha's teasing her but she still takes the hand Natasha offers and seats herself down on top of her, giving Clint a <em>take that</em> look. Bobbi stops dancing long enough to realise they're going to start a talking game. She turns the music down significantly and bounds over to sit beside Natasha. Maria stretches out over the two of them, feet in Bobbi's lap and resting in between Natasha's legs who's sitting with her back against the arm of the couch.</p><p>While a game of never have I ever starts, Bobbi absentmindedly strokes her nails up and down Maria's calves. It feels good until Bobbi narrows her eyes at Maria and runs her finger up the sole of Maria's foot. Maria jerks her leg away so fast she nearly knees Bobbi in the face. She glares at Bobbi who raises her hands in surrender, a look of innocence on her face. She slowly places her leg in Bobbi's lap again and gives her another glare just to show her she means business.</p><p>In return, Bobbi lets her hands fall down slowly on Maria's legs. Maria relaxes back against Natasha and she tunes back into the conversation to realise that everyone's stopped talking to watch her and Bobbi. She frowns and gives Bobbi a confused look, only to see Bobbi's smirk. She's too slow to pull her legs away; Bobbi's already got her hands clamped around Maria's ankles.</p><p>Maria tugs anyway, holding onto Natasha to make sure she doesn't go sliding down to traitorous Bobbi. Except Natasha dislodges Maria's hands and Bobbi yanks her ankles at the same time and she ends up with her butt in Bobbi's lap and her head beside Natasha's feet. </p><p>Maria takes barely a second to consider the situation and rolls off the couch. Bobbi, for all her talent, has never been good with fast reactions when she's drunk so she keeps holding onto Maria's ankles instead of letting go to let Maria fall safely.</p><p>Natasha jerks out a leg in an attempt to stop Maria's head hitting the floor but all she manages to do is plant her foot in Maria's face. Maria grunts and brings her arms up to protect her face which unbalances her and she ends up twisted at the waist, face-first on the floor. She's pretty sure she can hear Clint cackling at her and is that Phil taking a photo? Bastard.</p><p>There's not enough space on the floor for them all to pile on top of Maria so Bobbi and Natasha haul her back up and pin her down, Natasha gripping her wrists tightly and Bobbi sitting sideways on the couch with her legs wrapped around Maria's like a snake.</p><p>Maria squirms uselessly, only succeeding in giving more of legs to Bobbi and becoming more stretched out. Clint wastes no time in ditching Melinda and Phil who are more than happy to join him, crouching on the floor in front of Maria with wicked little grins.</p><p>"We should talk about this," Maria says nervously, shifting uncomfortably as Clint's hand came near her bare side.</p><p>Melinda snickered. "You can do all the talking when you scream my name."</p><p>Maria goes bright red as the others laugh delightedly. She glares at them and is about to make an empty threat when Phil's hand darts forward and pokes her in the side. She clamps her mouth shut and tenses her entire body, back lifting off the couch.</p><p>"This isn't fair," she mumbles, voice muffled.</p><p>Melinda goes next, running her fingers over Maria's stomach. Maria sucks in, trying to press herself into the cushions. Melinda's hand follows her and Maria presses her face into her shoulder so they can't see her lose control.</p><p>Bobbi fixes that problem by harshly jabbing Maria in the sides. Maria twists violently, nearly dislocating her shoulder when Natasha doesn't let up on her hold. Bobbi shifts further up, pressing Maria's hips into the cushions with her own weight. Her fingers dig into Maria's sides, up and down, sending Maria into a bout of giggles. </p><p>Maria does her best, she really does try, super super hard, but Bobbi's good and Clint's got eyes like a hawk - he sees where she jerks the most and the abuses those spots - and so even though she's pushed her face into her shoulder, her lips crack open and a laugh spills out and then more follow that until she's smiling and giggling uncontrollably and there's not really any point trying to hide it when they can all hear her anyway.</p><p>"<em>Stohohop</em>," she begs, her body trembling from their attack.</p><p>She doesn't even realise Natasha's let go of her wrists until she tries to tug her wrists free and her arms move. She's laughing too hard to actually be able to hit any of them enough to make it count but she tries anyway, weakly batting at Melinda, who's the closest to her face. Melinda just bares her teeth in what's probably supposed to be a smile and prods her armpits. Maria clamps her arms to her sides but it only lasts a second. Natasha doesn't even have to try when she pulls Maria's arms above her head, holding her wrists in one hand while the other tickles patterns in her armpit. </p><p>Bobbi reaches behind her and runs her fingers up and done the soles of Maria's feet and Maria's legs jerk uncontrollably as she laughs, tears running down her face. She's gone red, gasping for breath when Phil leans over her and blows a raspberry on her stomach.</p><p>Maria shrieks, back arching as she spasms, writhing underneath Bobbi's weight. "Plehe<em>hease</em>!" </p><p>They look at each other, hands paused as they consider it. Maria takes the break to catch her breath, sagging into the couch cushions.</p><p>"What do you reckon, Bobs?" Clint asks.</p><p>Bobbie shrugs. "She did say please."</p><p>"She also nearly kneed you in the face," Melinda points out.</p><p>"She deserved that!" Maria protests, scowling at Melinda.</p><p>Bobbi blinks and her expression shifts into dejected. "Ouch."</p><p>Maria gives her a dirty look and tugs at her trapped limbs. "Come on guys, you've had your fun. Lemme go now."</p><p>"I don't know, Ria," Natasha says slowly. "I mean, you did just insult Bobbi, who is clearly feeling very offended."</p><p>"Yeah," Bobbi chimes in.</p><p>"That's not- Come <em>on</em>," Maria grumbles. "She started it."</p><p>"Two wrongs never make a right," Phil quoted, his hands ghosting over Maria's stomach.</p><p>"Maybe you should apologise. Would that make it better, Bobbi?" Clint asks, barely hiding his smirk.</p><p>Bobbi's lips twitch as she agrees.</p><p>Maria's eyes widen and she tries to squirm away but they've trapped her too tightly and she's stuck. </p><p>"No no no no <em>stop it</em>," Maria says, trying to hide her body underneath Bobbi who simply shifts backwards. "Stop it stop it <em>Bobbi</em>!"</p><p>Bobbi's leading the tickle attack this time and she's relentless, driving Maria crazy with light touches over her stomach and then suddenly hard digs into her ribs. Even quicker than before, Maria's unable to even speak, let alone form coherent sentences. Tears roll down the sides of her face into her hair as she giggles, gurgling out what might be an apology but honestly, no one can understand her.</p><p>Maria howls with laughter, too weak to even try to wriggle away from their savage fingers. Her whole body is shaking so hard Bobbi takes pity on her and pauses.</p><p>"Got something to say, then?" she asks, ruthlessly poking her in the stomach.</p><p>"I... I-I'm..." Maria's struggling to get the words out and Clint doesn't make it any easier, lightly dusting his fingers over her feet.</p><p>"Clint, stop it," Bobbi says after it looks likes Maria's about to burst into tears, and not because they've been attacking her.</p><p>"Sorry," Maria gasps, chest heaving as she tries to get air back into her lungs.</p><p>"Thank you," Bobbi says graciously. She climbs off of Maria and helps her sit up, stroking her back until she's stopped trembling.</p><p>"I hate you all," Maria mutters from the safety of Bobbi's arms, where all the hands that have attempted to poke her have been slapped away.</p><p>Melinda goes and finds one of Phil's t-shirts that Maria can borrow. Maria pulls it over her head and stands up on shaky legs, wiping her eyes.</p><p>"I'm going home," she says, voice choked.</p><p>"Don't be ridiculous," Melinda says. "You'll be shot the second you step outside. We've got enough space for you all to stay over here."</p><p>Maria looked around the small apartment doubtfully and then, apparently deciding that arguing was a waste of time, collapsed back onto the couch and rolled onto her side, closing her eyes and drifting off almost immediately.</p><p> </p><p>In the morning, Maria wakes with a hangover and a crystal clear memory of nearly dying. Looking over at Clint smirking at her from beneath Natasha's thick hair, she has a feeling he remembers too.</p>
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